What My Eyes Have Seen!
Due to my ‘popularity’ on social media, especially Facebook, people often seek my advice on various problems, including marital and life issues.
They contact me through direct messages or phone calls. Because of my prominence, many assume I am financially stable, leading to numerous financial requests. If I tell them I cannot help, they often suggest publicly soliciting help.
What My Eyes Have Seen!
I usually oblige 97% of these requests after confirmation. My weakness is not knowing how to say no. My parents used to say I live up to my name. My mom would say, “Omo to laanu ni Lateefah.” I don’t do eye service and I don’t help to receive praises. I’m not okay when people are not okay. That’s who I am.
The Challenges of Helping
In the course of helping people, I have encountered many challenges.
Marital Advice Gone Awry
Once, a sister reached out to me about marital problems. I advised her the best I could, emphasizing patience, prayer, and family intervention. Unbeknownst to me, her husband had bugged her phone. One day, he logged her out of Facebook Messenger and started chatting with me, pretending to be her.
A Suspicious Conversation
Him: Asalam Alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh, Umm. Me: Walaykum Salam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh. Him: Umm, I’m really fed up. I want to leave him. I’m tired. Me: May Allah ease your affairs. The ball is in your court. Him: Haa, Umm, is that all you’ll say? I’m really tired. I want to leave him. Me: The ball is in your court. I cannot decide for you. You’re the one wearing the shoe and you know where it pinches you. Him: Is that all you’re going to say? Me: May Allah ease your affairs. Him: Thank you ma. Later, the wife told me it was her husband chatting with me. I was shocked. You can’t come between a husband and a wife. They will use you to count scores when they make up. I would never tell any woman to leave her marriage. It’s not in my place because I’m not a court of law or an Islamic authority.
Financial Help
Another challenge is the financial requests I receive. Trying to help people financially has often put me in difficult situations. I don’t want to go into details, but one particular incident nearly caused a conflict with a popular brother on Facebook.
Helping a Single Sister
A single sister approached me, frustrated about being single at 30. I sympathized with her and gave her hope. She later asked if I knew an eligible bachelor. I didn’t, but she asked if I could post her profile on my page since I had a large following. She didn’t mind being a second wife. Because my weakness is not knowing how to say no, I obliged and posted her profile.
An Unexpected Match
Many brothers started messaging me. One brother ticked all her boxes, so I introduced them. Unknown to me, he was the husband of my good friend. Somehow, my friend found out about me trying to introduce her husband to another woman. She handled it maturely and never asked me about it. The relationship didn’t work out between the single sister and my friend’s husband because of incompatibility. When I found out he was my friend’s husband, I was shocked. I sought advice and was told to pretend I didn’t know anything since the relationship didn’t work out.
A Close Call
Later, my friend brought up the issue casually, and I confessed. I told her I was unaware of her husband’s identity on Facebook and apologized profusely. What could have caused a rift between us was avoided, thanks to Allah. Similar situations have ruined relationships. If you can help your friend’s husband look for a second wife, I cannot. My Lord saved me from another problem. Yet, I didn’t stop helping because my weakness is not knowing how to say no.
Helping During Personal Challenges
I’ll never forget one time I helped in tears and agony. It was when my mother had a stroke. I was struggling financially to meet my mother’s bills, thank God for a highly supportive husband. During that time, a sister approached me, saying her father was sick and begged me to raise money for his medical bills, which I couldn’t turn down. Despite my own challenges, I still sought public assistance for her. The end result was not pleasant. My eyes have seen a lot.
Standing Tall Amidst Challenges
You might wonder how I’m still standing tall with immense growth. Allah is probably rewarding me for my sincerity. I don’t do eye service. If I did, with all these challenges, I would have quit. The same goes for my inability to look away when I see religious impropriety.
Soft Approach
Without bragging, I have the softest approach when correcting people. I’ve had my share of dragging on this space. I know how tormenting it could be and I do not wish that for anyone. So I try my best to protect people from dragging as much as I can. And I also try to caution draggers. If I’m aware of an impending dragging, I’ll sue for peace like my existence depended on it.
Not Looking Away
My weakness is not being able to look away. So far, Allah has really rewarded me with protection, growth, and answered prayers, Alhamdulilah RabilAalamin. But with recent events of slander and misunderstanding, I think I’ll be taking a bow. If you question my sincerity, that’s your opinion. If it’s easy to be wrongly accused, please pray for it. My husband warned me several times not to get involved in matters on Facebook. I think I’ve learned my lessons the hard way.
Facing Slander and Misunderstanding
Some people are waiting for you to be shamed and dragged. They find joy in dragging you down. They believe anything and everything they hear about you. They gloat and cast aspersions on your character. I see you. May Allah reward you accordingly. My sincerity will always vindicate me. I am not perfect but I’m far from being a hypocrite or a two-faced person. Bully? I advocate against it, so that can never be my description. To everyone hurting and bleeding on others, may Allah heal you.
Prayers for Supporters
To everyone that gives me the benefit of doubt, may Allah never afflict you with shame. To everyone that didn’t crucify me because of lies, may Allah save you from wrong accusations. To everyone that reached out to offer support and good wishes, may Allah be your strength when you’re down. To everyone that remains friends despite all odds, may Allah shield you with his cover here and in the hereafter.
Conclusion
If I don’t respond to your messages again, please understand. I need to rest my head. This really got to me. Permit me to turn a blind eye to your predicament. But I’ll leave you with this short prayer: Allah, the creator of the heavens and earth, will never leave you to your affairs even for the blinking of an eye. And may He ease all of your affairs. Aamin.
